In so many ways it feels as though I've been in Denver for months on end, and in a lot of other ways it feels as though I got here yesterday. God is doing amazing things in my heart and in my life. I've met so many amazing people here. I've also experienced some crazy stuff that I think if you would have asked me before I left; I would have told you would never happen. God is good. It's like He's been preparing my heart for this intense time for the last couple of years.
For those of you who are very confused about what I am doing and I haven’t told you about it at all, I apologize. Let me explain a little bit. I am living in Denver, Colorado (or, well, Arvada, which is basically just a sub city to Denver) with an organization called YWAM (Youth with a Mission) doing a program called a DTS (discipleship training school). Essentially, it is a 5ish month program where I get to learn how to “know God, and to make Him known”. We have weekly modular classes on different things each week (for 12 weeks here in Arvada). Some different topics include: The Character of God, Relationships, The Father Heart of God, The Heart of Worship, The Holy Spirit, Spiritual Warfare, Worldview/Kingdom view, Lifestyle of Repentance, and Missions and Evangelism. THEN in mid December I will take off with a team of my choice to either Honduras/Nicaragua or to Brazil for six weeks to put into practice all of the things we’ve learned and to do service work and tell people who have never heard about Jesus!
So I got here and the first week was all quite a blur! We basically had sessions and things going on all day everyday with maybe five minute breaks in between. It was all super intensive. We had worship (which is so amazing, by the way). There were sessions on: the flow of worship, relinquishing your rights up to God, intercession and what it means, and a lot of “bonding time” with our school. I felt pretty overwhelmed coming out of a tight knit community at camp where I lived for four months into a different one where I didn’t know a single person! Also, switching from being the teacher to being the taught has been quite the adjustment. The people here were all so welcoming and wonderful but it has just been so different from everything I’ve ever been used to.
God has really been drawing me closer to Him and teaching me how much He truly loves us in SPITE of ourselves. “He loves us as we are, not as we should be, but He also loves us way too much to let us stay this way.” Sometimes when I think about how HUGE God is, it freaks me out and humbles me until I feel as though I’m smaller than an atom. Then He comes and reminds me that He loves that little atom and He made me exactly as I am (every little part) in order that I could live in relationship with Him. It’s perplexing. He’s so infinite, but so personal! He is unfathomable and I love getting caught up and mystified by it all!
I've built some really sweet friendships and relationships as well. My specific school (the musicians dts) is made up of... I think 17 guys (nate, freeman, alex, zach, mats, taylor, jon, jake, michael, yannik, sam, sungboam, tim, ryan, graham, patrick, austen) and 10 girls (maddy, kiny, sujin, yvonne, jayeon, bri, brittany, lindy, simona, and myself). I have an amazing small group (yvonne, jayeon, bri, and I). Our leader's name is Erika and she is superbe and quite word-nerdy. She likes to put/smudge words together, just like me. All of the staff are really amazing, as well as my classmates. I have a lot of fun with them!
Week 2 we had a guy named Egbert de Zwaan come and talk to us about The Character of God, a lot of what I learned is summed up above! Ha! Looking a bit at who God is and how perfect He is has made me think about what it truly means to draw near to Him. To sit at His feet and just be in awe, wanting to learn all that I can about Him so that I might be even just the faintest reflection of how great He is on this world that we live in.
Week 3 we went to this conference called the “Acts 1” conference. If you do not know the story of the book of Acts, chapter one, it goes a little something like this: After Jesus ascends to heaven the disciples gathered together in “the upper room” and waited for God to show up. They had no idea how He would do it, but they waited together, anticipating greatness. Then whoa whoa whoa the Holy Spirit showed up and they were empowered and enabled and filled to start spreading the gospel. Cool, hey? That’s where the Christian church started.
So this gathering was in a way sort of a “waiting on God” thing. We went and spent 3 almost full days (other than meals) just worshiping in song, in fellowship, and in prayer; listening to whatever it was that God had to say to us. The main reason ywam did this was because they’ve felt a big move in what God wants to do through ywam in the US, so they are looking to God to prepare them for it. It was a really neat time because basically God did a lot of correcting in people’s hearts (including my own). I will admit to being a bit of a skeptic about some of the stuff that ywam does (the more Pentecostal/Charismatic stuff) but who am I to put a limit on what God can do? He’s all powerful. All I know is He is moving and it’s exciting.
I feel like I got a lot of freedom from some apathy and rebellion I know I’ve had on my Christian walk with God. With that freedom, a spirit of just clarity, discernment, and a renewed passion for THE GOSPEL OF CHRIST was renewed in my life. It’s so easy to simply live a happy-go-lucky Christian walk without ever taking Matthew 28:18-20 to heart. I want to be the kind of Christian who takes that charge seriously and proclaims God’s love to everyone.
God is good. I’m growing in ways I didn’t know were possible. I’m truly thankful for this focused time to just develop and solidify my foundation and relationship with Him. I don’t want God to be an after-thought in my life. I want Him to be the base on which I build my life. Of course I miss home a bit (especially certain people who I’m sure will know how much their friendships mean to me and realize that this is written about you). I hope to come home a transformed person who is rooted and established in God’s love and who has a heart for what God has a heart for.
One verse that God has blessed me with is Zephaniah 3:17:
“The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.”
It is a great God that we serve!!
God Bless until my next long rant,
Gill Walks
1 comment:
I love your heart and your honesty in what God's doing in your life. Continue to pursue Him. I can't wait to see how much you grow this quarter, you're amazing! =) Love, Britt
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